Creating Humour on Blogging Everyday Jokes!

smile for kids

2009-02-02T06:13:00.000+14:00

Differences
Whats the difference between an elephant and a flea?

A elephant can have fleas but fleas can't have elephants

German at McDonalds
A German tourist walks into a McDonalds in New York, and orders a beer. The guy in the line behind him immediately tells him: "They don't serve BEER here, you moron!", to which the German replied in astonishment, "You mean you're here for the food?"

Young Mothers
An eight year girl is trying to check out a book entitled "Advice for Young Mothers" from the local library.

Librarian: Now why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?

Little girl: I collect moths.

Barometer Uses

2009-01-20T04:23:00.000+14:00

A physics student once got the following question in an exam: "You are given an accurate barometer. How would you use it to determine the height of a skyscraper?" He answered,

"Go to the top floor, tie a long piece of string to the barometer, let it down 'till it touches the ground and measure the length of the string." The examiner wasn't satisfied, so they decided to interview the guy:

"Can you give us another method, one which demonstrates your knowledge of Physics?"

"Sure, go to the top floor, drop the barometer off, and measure how long before it hits the ground..."

"Not, quite what we wanted, care to try again?"

"Make a pendulum of the barometer, measure its period at the bottom, then measure its period at the top..."

"...another try?...."

"Measure the length of the barometer, then mount it vertically on the ground on a sunny day and measure its shadow, measure the shadow of the skyscraper..."

"...and again?..."

"walk up the stairs and use the barometer as a ruler to measure the height of the walls in the stairwells."

"...One more try?"

"Find where the janitor lives, knock on his door and say 'Please, Mr. Janitor, if I give you this nice barometer, will you tell me the height of this building?'"

The Best Hapyy Christmas SMS messages of 2008/Marry Christmas SMS

2008-12-25T16:03:00.000+14:00

Also make your new year eve as cool as possible.Cool collection of Marry Christmas X-mas sms messages here. Yes, say happy Christmas to your friends by sending great collection of Merry Christmas sms messages and shayari. The traditional greeting phrase on these sms messages is "Merry Christmas". sms messages are also produced with messages such as "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays"

If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window grabs you and puts you in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for CHRISTMAS Christmas sms messages

May the joy and peace of Christmas be with you all through the Year. Wishing you a season of blessings from heaven above. Happy Christmas

May the good times and treasures of the present become the golden memories of tomorrow.Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness. MARRY CHRISTMAS

May your world be filled with warmth and good chear this Holy season, and throughout the year.Wish your christmas be filled with peace and love. Merry X-mas

I am dreaming of white Christmas , with every christmas card i write, May your days be merry and bright, and May all your christmases be white.Happy Christmas.

I hope you have a wonderful christmas . have a great new year ! Hopefully santa will be extra good to you . enjoy your holidays

if one night you wake up and a big fat male is trying to put you in a sack please don't be afraid because i told santa all i want for christmas is you.

your as big boned as father christmas claus, your as stupid as a donkey, your as shit in bed as a camal, but your still the right person for me!

Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas

New is the year, new are the hopes and the aspirations, new is the resolution, new are the spirits and forever my warm wishes are for u.Have a promising and fulfilling new year. Christmas sms messages

Two things upon this changing earth can neither change nor end; the splendor of Christ's humble birth, the love of friend for friend.

Ur friendship is a glowing ember through the yr n each december frm its warm n livin spark v kindle flame against da dark n with its shining radiance light our tree of faith on Christmas night

May all the sweet magic
Of Christmas conspire
To gladden your hearts
And fill every desire.

()"""() ,*
( 'o' ) ,***
=(,,)=("')<-***
(""),,,("") "**
Roses 4 u...
MERRY CHRISTMAS to
U...

Lets welcome the year which is fresh
Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas

Can I have your picture, so Santa Claus knows exactly what to give me. Happy Christmas Christmas sms messages

What's in a Name?

2008-10-12T05:27:00.000+14:00

A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."

"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"

The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."

Recent Quips from Late Night

2008-10-12T04:51:00.000+14:00

"The federal government... announced a plan to spend, like, a trillion of taxpayer dollars to buy out bad mortgages and debt. Wall Street was surprisingly enthusiastic about the plan to save their (butts) with other peoples' money. It was either that, or Sarah Palin's idea to sell it all on eBay." --Bill Maher

"Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's Chapter 11." --Jay Leno

"The group MoveOn.org has called on John McCain to release all of his medical records. In response, McCain told them, 'Why don't you just come down to the warehouse and look around for yourself? Bring a forklift, it'll take time.'" --Conan O'Brien

"So now our attention turns to which candidate can best guide us out of this mess. But even more important than that is deciding which candidate we'd most like to eat nachos with. According to a new survey from the Associated Press today, more Americans would rather watch football game with Barack Obama than with John McCain, by a margin of 50 to 47%. Mostly because McCain has to get up every ten minutes to go to the bathroom." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Lawrence Ellison topped the Forbes list of the top ten richest people in the U.S., having a combined wealth, as of Friday, of nearly $8,000" --Seth Meyers

"Hey, guess what? Turns out the free market? Not so free. Wall Street was hit hard Monday when Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America, and insurance giant AIG neared a collapse of its own. Basically, if your commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done." --Amy Poehler

"The other financial genius, John McCain, said the fundamentals of our economy are strong, and then yesterday he wanted to fire the head of the SEC -- except you can't as president fire the SEC chairman, it's a non-governmental job. Sarah Palin said today one more gaffe from McCain, and she's going to drop him from the ticket." --Bill Maher

"To give you an idea how bad the American economy is, Mexico is now calling for a fence along the border. Stay on your side!" --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama, you know has a lot of supporters here in America, but he's very popular internationally. It's quite interesting. This is a true story. It was in the paper. Barack Obama is so popular in the African town where his father was born, they've named a beer after him. That's true. Yeah. So next time you're in Africa, sit back, relax, and enjoy a tall, cold Barackelob Light. Good enough. Clearly not as popular a beer as it used to be." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, the federal government announced a massive plan to bail out a number of banking institutions. One expert said it might cost Americans more than a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective, ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a trillion dollars." --Jimmy Kimmel

"A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain's work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, 'You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.' He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it." --Amy Poehler

No Drinking and Smoking

2008-09-29T06:54:00.000+14:00

A Grandmother was talking to her young grandson, trying to explain the dangers of smoking. "Now Johnny," she said, "you have to promise Grandma that, once you're a grown man, you will never smoke, and never drink."

"Never, Grandma?" asked little Johnny.

"Never, boy, not even once," replied the grandmother.

With his eyes wide as saucers, Johnny asked "But won't I get thirsty?"

Best forever SMS

2008-09-28T04:07:00.000+14:00

Treat life as sea, your heart as sea-shore,
And friend as waves.
It never matters how many waves r their,
What matter is which one touches the shore…

>> Frienship SMS

Your network tariff has changed!
Call charges are now calculated according to brain size.
The smaller the cheaper!
Congrats You can make free calls!

>> Insult SMS

Best cosmatic for the lips is truth,
For the voice is prayer,
For the eyes is pity,
For the hands is charity,
and
for the heart is care

The Shortest Distance between
a Problem and it's Solution is
the Distance between your Knees
and the Floor. The one who Kneels
to Allah (Ta'Ala) can Stand Up to Anything.

>> Islamic SMS

Aaj ki dua

Aye Allah
Mere WO tamam gunah maaf farma
Jo meri duaon ki
Qabuliat main
Rukawat bante hain.

Significances of the prayers.
Fajar - increases the complexion or noor,
Zohar - increases Income,
Asar - Improves health,
Maghrib - good future 4 u r children,
Esha - peaceful sleep.

Life is Test,
Islam is best,
Namaz is must,
Aakhrat is for rest,
World is only dust,
If Quran is in chest,
nothing need next,
Obey ALLAH first.
Success will be next.

am
coming
to
ur
house
to
give
u
all
types
of
happiness
success
&
joy
plz
welcome
me
after few
minutes
U
know

I'm
Ur's….
*Ramadan*
Barkaton n Rehmaton ka Mah-e-Mubarak
Happy Ramadan Mubarak
Remember me in ur prayers.

Love is blind
Be very kind
When I kiss you
Please don't mind

>> KISS SMS

Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny - the best SMS 'n Joke of Santa Single Liner

2008-09-26T08:04:00.000+14:00

1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.

2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal.

3. Santa seldom answers your mail.

4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me."

5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines.

6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves.

7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions.

8. Santa laughs entirely too much.

9. Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME.

10. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence.

Evil Brothers

2008-09-25T07:53:00.000+14:00

Evil Brothers

Similarities between Santa Claus and System Administrators

2008-09-20T18:54:00.000+14:00

Dr. Seuss, Tech Writer

2008-09-10T06:24:00.001+14:00

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report...

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's going to crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM...
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom.

Where made?

2008-09-06T07:55:00.001+14:00

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffee pot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.

Where made?

2008-09-06T07:55:00.000+14:00

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

Wrong Bank

2008-09-05T07:19:00.000+14:00

A man went into a Wells Fargo bank and planned to rob it. He got a deposit slip and wrote on it: "This iz a stikup. Put all the munny in this bag." Then he stood in line. But he got nervous thinking that someone might have seen him write the note.

So he left the bank and crossed the street to the Bank of America. He waited in line, then handed the note to the teller. After reading the note, the teller determined that the man was not very bright. So he told him he could not accept the stickup note because it was written on a Wells Fargo deposit slip. He would either have to fill out a Bank of America deposit slip or go back to the Wells Fargo.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK," and returned to the Wells Fargo where he was arrested while standing in line.

Marketing Speak

2008-09-01T19:35:00.000+14:00

Cindy McCain discovered that her husband's great great uncle, Gunther McCain, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Tennessee in 1889.

The only existing photograph shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Gunther McCain; horse thief. Sent to Tennessee Prison 1883, escaped 1887. Robbed the Tennessee Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

After letting the Republican Party's large staff of professional image consultants review this discovery, they took the following actions to assist John's campaign to become our next president. They decided to crop Gunther's picture, scan it in as an enlarged image, and edited it with image processing software so that all that is seen in the final picture is a head shot. Along with this enhanced photo, the accompanying biographical sketch was sent to the Associated Press:

"Gunther McCain was a famous cattleman in early Tennessee history. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Tennessee railroad company. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his business enterprise with the railroad. In 1887 he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889 Gunther regrettably died suddenly during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform on which he was standing collapsed."

Doggone Brilliant

2008-09-01T19:26:00.000+14:00

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.

"Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says:

"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

Crazy People

2008-08-30T01:45:00.000+14:00

The Queen visits a mental hospital and goes to the first ward. The first patient she sees is sitting up and with his left hand he seems to be grabbing something from the air. She asks, "What are you doing?"

The patient replies, "I'm taking the stars from the sky!"

She then proceeds over to the second patient and he seems to be inserting something into the air. She asks, "What are you doing love?"

The second patient replies, "I'm putting the stars back in the sky!"

Finally she reaches the third patient and he's sitting up pretending he's a rally driver and is making high speed noises. She asks him, "What the heck are you up to?"

The patient replies, "I'm trying to get away from these two nutters, they're absolutely mental!"

Love Me Above No Other

2008-08-30T01:44:00.001+14:00

Girlfriend: "And are you sure you love me and no one else?"

Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday."

Real Users

2008-08-30T01:44:00.000+14:00

- Real users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts down the system for days.

- Real users never know what they want, but they always know when your program doesn't deliver it.

- Real users never use the Help key.

- Real users never stop asking new options.

- Real users never know what to do with new options.

Miracle Car

2008-08-26T16:00:00.001+14:00

The parents of two boys (14 and 16 year-olds) went on a trip for the weekend with friends. They left early Friday morning and the boys were left alone at home. That evening the younger boy made the suggestion that they take their dad's car, pick up some girls and go to the local disco. The 16 year-old boy could drive a bit but was too scared.

After some nagging he gave in and off they went to enjoy the evening. When they got back to the car after a lot of discothequeing, they noticed a huge dent in the rear of the car - someone must have bumped into the car and drove off.

Frantically they phoned their friends to find a panelbeater/spraypainter to fix their dad's car. Finally they found one who said they must have the car at his house early next morning. The car was fixed properly and they parked it back in the garage that afternoon.

Their parents returned the next day but the boys were too terrified to say anything about the accident. The father went to get something from the garage, came back very amazed and said to the family in the lounge,

"A miracle has happened! A guy drove into the back of my car on Thursday and now it is fixed without a scratch!"

Miracle Car

2008-08-26T16:00:00.000+14:00

"A miracle has happened! A guy drove into the back of my car on Thursday and now it is fixed without a scratch!"

Multiple Storms

2008-08-26T15:59:00.000+14:00

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.

"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?" asked the captain.

"Throw out an anchor, sir." replied the naval student.

"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?" asked the captain.

"Throw out another anchor, sir." answered the student.

"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?" asked the captain.

"Throw out another anchor." replied the student.

"Hold on," said the Captain. "Where are you getting all your anchors from?"

The naval student replied, "From the same place you're getting all of your storms, sir."

Men and Women

2008-08-22T01:22:00.000+14:00

- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.

- A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need.

- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

- To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.

- To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate overnight.

- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

- Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.

- Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

Life is Backwards

2008-08-22T01:21:00.000+14:00

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

Life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.

You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, then spend your last nine months floating!

$1 Bill Meets $20 Bill

2008-08-22T01:20:00.000+14:00

A one-dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."

The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff, church, church, church."

Recent Quips From Late Night

2008-08-18T07:43:00.000+14:00

"On Wednesday, John Edwards officially endorsed himself for vice president. ... It's believed that Edwards' endorsement of Senator Obama will help Obama nail down the critical handsome millionaire vote." --Amy Poehler

"The California Supreme Court has overturned the ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California's first legal gay marriages not involving Liza Minnelli. So that's pretty good. This is groundbreaking. You know what this means? Finally, taking loved ones for granted won't be just for straight people anymore." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, Barack Obama gave a speech in South Dakota. At the end of the speech, the crowd gave him a standing ovation. Yeah, very cool. Obama got the standing ovation not for his speech, but for being the first black person in South Dakota." --Conan O'Brien

"To give you an idea of how low President Bush's approval rating is, during the flight of Air Force One to the Middle East, they made him sit in the bathroom the entire way. And while he was in Israel, President Bush launched a political attack on Barack Obama. I guess he attacked him over there, so he doesn't have to attack him over here." --Jay Leno

"A monumental victory for the gay rights movement. The California Supreme Court on Thursday overturned a ban on gay marriage. This is great news for the state's mesh tuxedo industry." --Amy Poehler

"Speaking of presidents, Bill Clinton in the news. Bill Clinton is in a little trouble. He gave a speech at a high school in Kentucky. He was 90 minutes late. He showed up 90 minutes late. Yeah, Clinton told the students, 'I'd explain why I'm late, but you're not quite old enough yet.'" --Conan O'Brien

Jigsaw Puzzle

2008-08-18T07:41:00.000+14:00

Cletus called his friend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started."

His friend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

Cletus responded, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

His friend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. He let him in and showed him where he had the puzzle spread all over the table. His friend studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to Cletus and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.

"Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of coffee. Finally...

"Let's put all of these frosted flakes back into the box."

Cow Sense

2008-08-14T16:16:00.001+14:00

The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and
decided that this month's outing was to be at a dairy farm. Most of them had
lived in the city all their lives, and had never seen such a thing. The day came,
and the ladies filed into the rented bus which whisked them off to their
destination.

On the way, they watched out the windows as the city squalor turned into lovely,
unpolluted countryside. After they arrived, they were greeted by the farmer who
invited them to look him up should they have any questions.

Myrtle, after looking about, and being amazed by what she saw, stepped into a
building and viewed something she thought was quite remarkable. She saw the
farmer walk by and hailed him - he sauntered in.

"Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?"

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am,
cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep' em trimmed
down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a
couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold.

"Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason
this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."

Gone Golfing

2008-08-14T16:16:00.000+14:00

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

Ben searches diligently throught the thick underbrush and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Ben excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: "Hey Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here."

Thomas comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: "What's the matter Ben?"

Ben shouts back in a nervous voice: "Throw me my 7-iron! Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."

Great Price

2008-08-14T16:10:00.000+14:00

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady s house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.

"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady s house.

"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"

"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money."

Confessions

2008-08-14T16:08:00.001+14:00

To celebrate their 50th anniversary, a husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip to famous old St. Andrews' Golf Course in Scotland.

On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said contritely, "Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."

His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you."

They embraced and kissed.

On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry, darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.

The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on his wife's clubs.

He screamed and ranted, "You liar...you cheat ... you despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul...and all these years you've been playing off the ladies' tees?!"

Cow Sense

2008-08-14T16:08:00.000+14:00

"Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?"

"Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason
this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."

Recent Quips from Late Night

2008-08-14T16:06:00.000+14:00

"Anybody go down to the Crawford ranch for the big Jenna Bush wedding over the weekend? ... It was a lovely affair and God bless the kids. It's so nice so, sweet, romantic. But do you know there is a rice shortage? Are you aware of the fact you can't get rice in this country? So, when the wedding was over, they threw caramelized onions." --David Letterman

"Over the weekend in Texas, President Bush's daughter, Jenna, got married. Very nice, yeah. Afterwards, President Bush said, 'I haven't cried that much since Steve left 'Blues Clues.'' --Conan O'Brien

"Well, as reported, some Democrats are quietly sending word to Hillary that it's over. And Hillary's people said it's not over until the fat lady sings. To which Bill said, 'There's a fat lady? Where?'" --Jay Leno

"How about that presidential race? Hillary Clinton just won't quit. Can you believe that, ladies and gentlemen? You have to admire somebody who, against all odds, just won't quit. I mean, right now she has absolutely no chance whatsoever of being president, but she just won't quit. And they're running out of money. Hillary Clinton, God bless her, is running out of money. And today she was wearing a certified pre-owned pantsuit." --David Letterman

"Right now, this is interesting, director Oliver Stone is making a movie about President Bush that's called 'W.' Yeah. He's also making a movie about John McCain called 'No Country for Old Men.'" --Conan O'Brien

"No, Hillary Clinton said she will not give up, she will go to the convention, and she will win. And then the bartender said, 'Ma'am, it's 3:00, we're closing.' In fact, you hear Hillary's new slogan? 'I'm just in it now to annoy the hell out of everybody.'" --Jay Leno

"Political experts are saying the only thing that can stop Barack Obama now is a major sex scandal. And that's not gonna happen, because Barbara Walters said, 'He's way too young for me.'" --Jay Leno

First Worry

2008-08-14T15:50:00.000+14:00

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant.
Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that
he had started himself.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm
looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"Excuse me?" the accountant said.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to
worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"

"I'll start you at eighty thousand."

"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small
business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

Dead Rabbit

2008-06-23T02:53:00.000+14:00

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics.

He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"

The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. no.. um.. what happened?"

The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"

Beautiful Girl

2008-06-22T02:53:00.000+14:00

Wife: Yesterday I saw a very beautiful girl.

Husband: Then what happened?

Wife: I just kept on admiring her, on and on..

Husband (gets irritated): WHAT happened then?

Wife smiled and said: I moved away from the mirror!

Psychiatric Confession

2008-06-21T02:53:00.000+14:00

Attending a convention, 3 psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our problems. Since we're all professionals, why don't we hear each other out right-now?"

They agree that this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I over bill patients as often as I can."

The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."

The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."

The difference

2008-06-21T00:03:00.000+14:00

A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.

"Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says.

"But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down.

Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.

"Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?"

"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says.

"But that was an iceberg!"

"Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

Men and Women

2008-06-20T02:53:00.000+14:00

- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.

- A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need.

- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

- To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.

- To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate overnight.

- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

- Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.

- Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

Advertising Claims

2008-06-18T02:32:00.001+14:00

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.

The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"

The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."

Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"

The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."

The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"

The nine year old says "They're for my four year old little brother."

The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother??"

The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

It's Time to Get a New Lawyer When

2008-06-07T01:40:00.000+14:00

- The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.

- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

- He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

- During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

- Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

- Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

- He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

- He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.

- He begins closing arguments with, "As Denny Crane once said..."

Best SMS for always

2008-05-24T02:16:00.000+14:00

I have 3 parts of my heart,
.
.
.
1st 4 my Allah,
.
.
2nd 4 my Family,
.
3rd 4 myFriends.

But no part 4 u,

Becoz,

U
R
My
Heart

A boy goes to see a dance.

His mom angrily asks him:
Did u see anything there that
u were not supposed to see?

Boy: yes, I saw dad!

What iS gr8 love ?
Its wen u hide tears n still care 4 her .
Its wen she ignores u n u still LOVE her .
Its wen she begins love someone else

n u still SMILE

Consult not your fears
but your hopes and your dreams.

Think not about your frustrations,
but about your unfulfilled potential.

Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in,
but with what it is still possible for you to do.

Yuma Puma : Jokes ofr Kids

2008-05-15T06:44:00.000+14:00

There once was a man from Yuma,

Who told an elephant joke to a puma,

Now his body lies,

Under the hot desert skies,

For the puma had no sense of huma.

Double Decker Bus

2008-05-15T06:43:00.000+14:00

There's a double decker bus driving down the street full of passengers. On the lower level of the bus, everyone's having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing.

On the upper part of the bus, Maynard is in a panic. He's screaming, terrified, and holding onto others as the bus moves along the street.

Finally, someone gets up and walks to the top of the bus to ask what's wrong. Maynard replies, "What's wrong? Well, you'd be screaming too if you didn't have a driver!"

Churchill's Nap

2008-05-14T06:44:00.000+14:00

A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking.

She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?"

Churchill sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice."

Sixes and Sevens

2008-05-14T06:43:00.000+14:00

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because, already, seven ate nine (7, 8, 9)!

Single Liner Computer Funny Smiles

2008-05-06T00:37:00.000+14:00

Unix is user friendly. It's just very particular about who it's friends are.

* * *

APL is a write-only language.

* * *

In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.

* * *

C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.

* * *

A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.

* * *

PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or Fortran.

* * *

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, benchmarks.

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1!!! F1!!!" and nobody understood it.

* * *

The Programmers' Cheer: "Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!"

love sms

2008-05-01T02:09:00.000+14:00

I've a special dinner 4 u 2day
a glass of care, a plate of luv
a spoon of peace, a fork of trust
a bowl of prayer, Gud nite & keep smiling

Don't hurt the heart that
Loves You!
Hurt the heart that
Hurts You!

Most wanted Love and Friend SMSes

2008-04-24T23:43:00.000+14:00

· As I watched da ants crawl up da wall, I noticed dat no matter how bg they r, they still communicate with eachother hop we wll be lyk them.

· Some ppls sms u bcoz they hav nth to do, other sms u bcoz they r obliged to u, but I do bcoz smsing u is my way of saying I remember u.

· We met it by chance. We met again it was luck. We bcozme fren, it was destiny, we r stilFREN , Its our diCISion.we'll always be fren it's a promise.

· If care is wave I give u sea. If respect is a leaf I give u tree, if trust is a planet I give u galaxy, if friendhsip is life I give u myself.

· I always thought loving sum1 is da greatest feeling, but I realized dat loving a fren is even better. We lose ppls we luv, but we never lose true fren.true frendship requires real effort. Even when one of them is busy with their own lives, a simple sms reminds each other dat u are not forgetten.

· Friendshipo is like war easy to start, difficult to end and impssilbe to forget. So I m having war wid u, I hop u don want peace heheh izzit.

· Frens may be old n may be new, real frens r very few, so whenever u r lonely. Remember its true som1 somewhere is thinkiing of u

· Frens relation is vast like universe, deep like ocean, hight like sky, storng like iron, kind like mother, cute like me n sweet like u !!!

· Forgetting u is hard to do, forgetting me is up to you. Forget me not forget me never, forget dis sms but not da sender.

· Let de most beautiful dream come 2u 2night. Let d sweetest person come in ur dream 2nite but don make it a habit coz I wont b able 2 come daily.

· Friendship doesn't get strong by meeting but iz only sweetened by thought. Truen fren always care 4 eachother in different ways as u'll neva knw n I'll neva show .hahaha

· Ashu tere nikle toh ankhe meri ho. Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho. Khuda kare dosthi hamari itni gaheri ho, ki sadak par log tumhe pite aru galti meri ho.

· "*" "*" tiny stars shinin bright, its tym4 me 2 say gudngt so close up eyes n snuggle up tite. M wishing u swet drems 2nite.

· App se milneko maan kar raha tha maan ko samja diya. Dil v tadapne lage tha usko v behala diya. Lekin aab saase kehe hara hai ki " I miss u kya usko v ruk du kya?

· Let me guess, wat u r doing. Reading buk? Na na! uh.ha!WATCHING TV? Nahhhhh caught u ! missing me n reading my smsn na?? o! no ur smiling ha haok

· Man falls in "luv" its natural, cow eating grass its true but a monkey using a mobile???? Its2much c a moneky still pressing a key . hahaha

· I opened my wallet, found it empty, searched my pocket n found few coins, serched my heart n I found u, then I realized how rich I m to hav a bf/gf like u ..

· Plz give me a kiss!....... sochedk? Daro mat kiss means

K=koi

I=intresting

S=sms

S=send karo

Ab to think hai na!! so always kiss me haha

· Happy moments-don't forget me. Difficult moments trust me. Quiet moments call me. Painful moments-tell me. Every moments think abt me .

· Listen to ur heart its beating for me. Open ur eyes they r serching for me and close ur eyes u will find me. I miss you u miss me.

· Hum nazarooo se dur hai aankho se nahi, hum dilse dur hai dhadkanse nahi, hum tumse dur hai tumhari yadooo se nahi.

· I'll hide in ur heart so that u don't ve to serch for me, I 'll get lost in ur eyes so that u don't'veto find me . everytime I'll b with u so that u wont miss me..

· Friendship is like war easy to start, difficult to end and impossible to forget. So I m having war wid u , I hope u dun want peace izzzit,.

· Tell me frankyly,..

Do u

Do u l

Do u lu

Do u luv

Do u luv me??

Do u luv meat or r u vet?

· A memory last forever, never does it die.. ture frens stay togtther n never say goodbye..

· Sweet candies r nice to eat. Sweet words r easy to say, but, sweet ppls r hard to find.. oh my god how did I find u?

SMS for your Girlfriend or boyfriend

2008-04-19T07:19:00.000+14:00

Roses are red, carnations are pink...
I'd like to go out with you, what do you think?

Je t'aime. Ich liebe Dich. Te adoro.
You're my world.

In the world's supply of love...
You and I are a never-ending source.

Instead of missing you,
I wish I were kissing you.

"Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score; then to that twenty, add a hundred more."
I love you.

The results are in, and I've decided to rank you
Number 1 in thoughtfulness. Thank you!

I.O.U.
My undying gratitude.

You're the apple of my eye...
And I'm plum crazy about you.

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."

The typical human heart beats 35 million times in a year.
Mine reaches that with you in an afternoon. Happy Valentine's Day.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The rest of my body is having a much stronger reaction.

Optimistic SMS for sound vision

2008-04-19T07:03:00.000+14:00

Joy is one of the only emotions you can't contrive.
True friends are those who come and share our happiness when we call them and our misfortune.
Think Again
True giving happens when we give from our heart.
I still believe that love is all you need.- Paul McCartney

The Sky's the Limit:
* Follow Your Dreams
* Don't Fear Your Mistakes
* Be Accessible
* Be Yourself But Be Realistic
* Look Beyond the Money

Forgotton Old SMS

2008-04-19T07:01:00.000+14:00

Sometimes I forget 2 ask R U ok ?
Sometimes I even miss 2 sayhai!
But it doesn't mean that I forgot U.
I'm just lazy like U

Sweet is your "Nature",
Dear is your "Name",
As earth wants water,
Flower wants dew.
I want nothing
But happiness for You

Every sunset gives us,
One day less to live!
But every sunrise give us,
One day more to hope!
So, hope for the best.
Good Day & Good Luck!

Five steps to a lovely morning:

Close ur eyes,
Take a deep breath,
Open ur arms wide,
Feel ur heart beat & say
"It is too early.Let me sleep again".
Good morning

Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tongue
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it

Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then make a place,
4 Me in ur heart!!
I may come there any time!
Ur's faithfully,
"Heart Attack"

Single Liner Programmer's fun

2008-03-27T22:05:00.000+14:00

APL is a write-only language.

* * *

In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.

* * *

C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.

* * *

A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.

* * *

PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or Fortran.

* * *

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, benchmarks.

* * *

Fun with machines

2008-03-25T22:05:00.000+14:00

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"

Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said "I'm actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Who's Counting?

2008-03-16T21:22:00.001+14:00

How many Deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?

12,001. That's one to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.

Human Cannonball

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire.

"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"

Put or Putt

2008-03-16T21:21:00.001+14:00

A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor.

"'Putt' is correct," replied the instructor. "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it, of course. 'Putt' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."

Computer funs

2008-03-11T20:52:00.000+14:00

A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS".

"G.O.O.D" answered his wife.

* * *

The Programmers' Cheer: "Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!"

* * *

"Have you heard about the object-orieented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."

* * *

If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.
If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.
If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.
If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.

* * *

If you can pick it up, it's a PC.
If you can't pick it up but you can push it over, it's a minicomputer.
But when you can't pick it up or knock it over, it's a mainframe.

* * *

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1!!! F1!!!" and nobody understood it.

* * *

JPT Bulk SMS

2008-01-21T03:12:00.000+14:00

"Ramchandra kehe gaye siya se aisa kalyug aayega, Ek dost ek taraf se SMS karega. Dusra apna paisa bachayega."

Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho. Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki tum ho.
Ab tum hi batao, kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho ?

Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance.
    Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
    Stupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
    Stupid Man + Stupid Woman = Marriage !

Dhirubhai from heaven : "Beta Mukesh kaisa chal raha hai apna reliance".
Mukesh: "Hello kon bol raha hai? thik se sunai nahi deta. call me on my HUTCH mobile!"

Ikhtiyarre tabbasum ki lau ko tarranume numayish se aghaa dena...
Jo iska matlab samajh aaye to please mujhe bhi bata dena.....

What is a girl friend?
    Addition of problems, subtraction of money,
    multiplication of enemies & division of friends

doc chopra Psychotherapist wanted the name board to be painted infront of his clinic ,
but our sardar painted " Dr chopra Psycho the rapist ".

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

When i was sad you were there. When i was crying you were there.
    When i was unhappy you were there.
    Now i have understood ki sare fasad ki jad tu hai..

newtons law of romance:- love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
it can only be changed from one girl friend to another...

Aisi dosti hamari ki tu har rah,har dagar,har safar mein mile.
Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi dosti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein mile :)

Har des ki ek sarhadd hoti hai , bache ki bhi ek zidd hote hai
    aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka,
    Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai

Naari ke chakkar mein bhool na jaana yaari,
Jab laat maaregi naari to yaad aayegi hamari.....
Purush bachao samiti ki taraf se Janhit mein jaari...

dean - anybody caught going 2 ladies hostel will be fined rs.400 1st time,
700 2nd time & 1000 3rd time. student - how much 4 a season pass?

A good discussion is like a MINI SKIRT. Short enough to pertain interest and
long enough to cover the subject.

Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
    Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola...
    Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!

1 - message - received - 1 - cute - person - sent - it - 1 - monkey - is - reading - it -
    1 - monkey - is - angry - 1 - monkey - is - still - reading -
    1 - monkey - wil 4ward - dis - msg - to - anodr - monkey !

Unlike others your brain is a master piece, It is divided in 2 parts - left & right. In
left nothing is right, in right nothing is left.

why do monkeys love banana.... -
oops i am so sorry ........ - thats your personal matter!

I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u".
Hey! Don't get excited, I love other alphabets too...v, w, x, y, z !

I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
That's because Meneka Gandhi says "Love Animals" !

VERY ... Cute, Gorgeous, Genius, Good-looking, Intelligent, One in Trillions..
I think its enough abt ME, wht abut U....

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you're not

God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too,
but yes, even God makes mistakes!

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

2 live a life v need brains,reflexes,luck,iq,knowledge,expression,perception,
n mental qualification.....hats off to u,for managing without them!!!

Geeta saar: SMS woh gyan hai jo baatne se badhta hai. isliye hey prani,
Tu apne bill ka moh tyag, aur roz ek SMS kar. tabhi tera manushya janm safal hoga.

Aey Mere SMS Mere Dost ke Pass Jana... Agar wo so Raha ho to Shor Mat Machana,
Jab WO jage to Dhire Se'MuskaranA' Fir Kehna "KANJUS"SMS Karo!

ss!w ! n ss!w ! - n ss!w ! n ss!w - ! n ss!w ! n - ss!w ! n ss!w ! - n ss!w !
got confused? be smart then... - just turn ur cell upside down.

lalu was doing toilet behind car. bush came & says 'aap ke yeha police nahi pakarte?
lalu replies 'nahi, hamare yaha khud hi pakarte hai'.

airhostess 2 laloo... sir r u veg or non veg?
    he says no i m sagitarian.
    she says no sir r u shakahari or mansahari?
    he says no i m bihari.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

how much is - 1+1=? - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
. - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
are you looking for the answer?? - shame on you.

Girlfriends are just like a ghadi detuergent
pehele istmal karo phir biswass karo

Hichkiyon se ek baat ka ehsaas hai ke shayad koi hamen yaad to karta hai
beshak milne na aaye per chandh lamhen hum per barbaad to karta hai.!

i'd luv 2 take u 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle,
shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear -
"pay the bill "!

Aapki yaad me mene kalam uthai,lia kagaz, tasvir apki banayi,
socha tha dil se laga ke rakhe us tasvir ko,
par wo toh bacchon ko darane ke kaam aayi...

Ha ha ha ha hha ha ha ha ha hha ha ho ho ho ho ho oh oh oh ooh ohh eh eh
he he hhe he he hee he he hha ha ho ho ho ho he he he.........
KUCH NAHIN BAS TUMHARI SHAKAL YAAD AA GAYI.... ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho.....

this time i'm - sure and i'm - gonna ask it... - -
d - do - do u - do u l - do u lu - do u luv - do u luv me - - -
do u luv meat or u r pure veg....

sometimes u may catch me staring at u -
    its nt bcuz u r cute........ -
    my mom once told me dat devils hav horns n tails & -
    i m jus wondering wherz urs!

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate.
    "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
    "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
    "Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

Sardar selected a short girl to marry............why?
coz guruji told him musibath jithni choti ho utna acha.......

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

A sardar saw a man pick pocketing a purse.
Thief: There is Rs 150 in the purse.We can take 50_50.
Sardar slowley asked him,"what abt the balance 50"

Twins were born in sardarjis house,
allnight he did not sleep thinking who is the father of the second child!!!!

Santa & banta were hanging on tree, suddenly santa fell.
banta asked: ku be thak gaya? santa answered: nahin pak gaya.

"Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

sardar, "i havent slept whole night in the train Friend: y?
sardar: got upper birth friend: y didnt u exchange?
sardar: oye,there was nobody 2 exchange lower birth.

Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
    His friends asked him how he had fared.
    He replied, "Exam was okay, except for the past tense of 'think'.
    I thought, thought, thought and at last, I wrote 'thunk'!"

Sardar could not stop laughing when he saw a truck being dragged by another.
I asked why?
Sardar says foolish drivers using two trucks to carry a Rope.

Sardar is frustrated in jokes made on him.
He goes to wife and says, tell me one joke in which i am not involved!
she said "I AM PREGNANT...!!!"

hi, wats up... listen can i get a picture of urs?...
the thing is that i have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of natural disasters!

gailed: great mind. - einstein: genius mind. - newton: extraordinary mind. -
bill gates: brillant mind. - me: master mind. -
you: never mind!

baap ne kaha ghar chhod do, ma ne kaha paro chhod do,
paro ne kaha sharab chhod do, chndrmuki ne kaha timepass karna chhod do,
ek din tum kahoge sms bhejna chhod do.

dear god, please make sure all those people who don't care to call or sms me,
lose their mobile...

kya bindas hawa chal reli hain, bird log gana ga reli hain,
shyane log sms kar rele hain, dhakan log sms padh rele hain

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH", Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"WAH WAH Kya zamana Aaya hai!!!****

HAR KASHTI ka sahil nahi hota kimti chiz ke har koi kabil nahi hota,..
Ye to tumhari kismat aachi hai varna tumhare jaise ,ladko, ke paas mobile nahi hota

1 - - _ - 2 - - _ - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 -
11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 -
very good! tomorrow we'll do - a-b-c !!!!

teachar: kal tum school kyun nahi aaye?
    student: gir gaya tha aur lag gayi.
    teacher: kaha gir gaya aur kya lag gayi?
    student: palang par gir gaya aur aakh lag gayi.

Wo Dosti hi kya jisme duriya na ho,Wo apnapan hi kya jisme ladai na ho,
wo dil hi kya jisme dard na ho,aur wo cell hi kya jisme hamara SMS na ho...

bhagwan se paani manga, sagar diya; phool manga, bagicha diya;
hawa mangi, hawa mahal diya; paisa manga, to aapka number diya!

Andheri sadak sunsan kabristan sooni haveli kala aasman ,bijli kadki aaya toofan ,
raat ho gayi soja shaitan.Good Night.

wouldntyoufinditreallyannoyingifsomeoneyouknowsent uamessagewithnospacesand
youtookagestofigureitoutonlytorealisethatitwasmeanttoirritateyou.

Girl Friend

WHAT IS A GIRL-FRIEND??????????

ADDITION OF PROBLEM SUDTRACTION OF MONEY AND DIVISION OF FRIENDS

Friend

Ur my Funny, Understanding, Cute, Kind,

Intelligent, Naughty, Great, Sweet, Honest,

Independent, Truthful friend in short u r my

F.U.C.K.I.N.G S.H.I.T. friend.

Dosti

Ansoo tere nikale to aankhein meri ho,

Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,

Khuda kare ki apni dosti itni gehari ho,

Baap tu bane to Mehanat meri ho !!.

Son asks his Dad diff btwn
LOVE, BELIEF & RELIEF.

Father says:
Yr Mom is my LOVE.
Your maid is my RELIEF
& I'm your Dad - well,that's my BELIEF.

Lovers
Tere sath guzra har lamha yaad aane laga. Jab bhi bhulane ki koshish ki. Tu dil ke aur karib aane laga.

TWO LOVERS PLAN TO SUCIDE.

BOY JUMPED FIRST.

GIRL CLOSED HER EYES AND RETURNS BACK SAYING

"LOVE IS BLIND" .

BOY IN AIR - ON HIS PARACHUTE SAYING

"LOVE NEVER DIES"

1. Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

Babe : After two years in Engineering, anything remotely female
qualifies for that title...

Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...

Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one
runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Lectures : Waste of time..physical presence is a must...only meant for
sleeping, completing assignemtns & genral TP

Tutions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....

Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernac Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with
his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )

Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls do your
experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group
simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally
copy the readings. from the girls of course...).

2. The Truth about exams....

Timing...when ur non enginering GF/BF is free to enjoy while u slog with
submisisons & exams

Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...

KT : Makes you suicidal..the WAY of life...

Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.

Reverification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).

3. To be a perfect engg. student ..

1. You shall study only during the preparatory leave.
2. You shall never write assignments yourself.
3. You shall begin writing journals only on the morning of submission.
4. You shall treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. You shall have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. You shall pass GRACEfully.
7. You shall always be an OUTstanding student.
8. You shall give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If you can't convince them , confuse them.
10 You shall start every sentence with a four lettered word.

4. The Years of Engineering

    F.E. Fond of Engineering
     S.E. Sick Of Engineering
     T.E. Tired of Engineering
    B.E. Balls to Engineering

     is it worth it???

Engineers Anthem:

Hum Honge All Clear,Honge All Clear, Honge All
Clear Ek Din,
OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas,
hum hoge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumours:

'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers :

ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than 0.025% then that college is engineers dream
come true)

Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations
throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers :
Xerox Machine ( Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)

The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)

The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:
Submission Queue

An Engineer's favourite watch:
Bird Watch !

Common Engineering Dialogues

After a paper :
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

On being Late
"I thought it is a monday" (lab starts at 10:45 on monday)
"I was searching for the Classroom"
(classic) " Train was late"

During Lecture

"Sushil ka assignment 2 tere paas hai??"
(classic)"Heads, we go home, Tails, we go home now!!!"
(classic2)"Journal sheet hai??"

Lab
"Expt. 2 likha??"
"Attendance ho gaya??"
(classic)"Karna kya hai??"

Unit Test
"Oh F***!!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?"
(classic)"Aaj kounsa test hai?"

For attendance
(less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)

"I was late , so watchman dint let me in"
"I forgot the I-card , so watchman dint let me in"
(classic)"Utsav (college festival) marketing"

Late submission of assignments
"Maine X ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"
"Electronix ka last date extend hua thaa"
(classic)"I dint know the last date"

Late submission of Journal (for printouts)
"Format pataa nahi thaa"
"Printer is not working today"
(classic) "Friday ko light nahi thee"

VIVA (b4 exam)
"submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Dekh Boss !! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai......

VIVA (general)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala , then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"
(Classic) "Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"

Submission

" Ye bhi chhapna hai kya??"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

(classic)"Tujhe Harale ka sign aata hai kya?"

(classic conversation)

A: Ye tune kya likha hai / teri handwriting aisi kyun hai?

B: 1.Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal

2. maine C se likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.

3.Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de.

EXAM

"Jo (mujhe)aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"

"tere paas Jejurkar ke notes hai??"
" woh chapter....... mark weightage 6 marks..... (facial expressions speaks the story)"
" nahi samjha to rat le (RBR) "

(classic..... when someone is intensively doing his last revision) "Yeh nahi aayega !!!"

Feeling after Completing Engineering:

Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

Exam phobia SMS

2008-01-14T04:47:00.000+14:00

To accomplish great things,
We must not only act,
But also dream,
Not only plan but also believe,
Best wishes for your exam.

Xams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.

The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!

Exams are like Girl friends
- Too many questions
- Difficult to understand
- More explanation is needed
- Result is always fail!

A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
"Head, I go to sleep."
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I'll study

It takes 15 trees to
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.
join us in promoting the noble
cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS.

Exam song by Munna bhai:

"Chanda Mama so Gaye,
Student sarey jage.
Dekho pakdo yaron,
Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
Ek pariksha khatam,to duji
shuru ho gayi MAAMU.

The same old Hindi SMS once again

2007-12-22T19:53:00.000+14:00

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bare le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai
Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.

Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

Jis mehfil mein hum khade ho jaaye
waha Haritik bhi jhukta hai
Kaho Na Pyaar Hai
Kya mooh dukhta hai

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai
na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai
aur khama-kha cherti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko
Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chara rakha hai

Jis din se juda vo humse hue
is dil ne dharkna chor diya
hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra
taaro ne chamkna chor diya

Kon kehta hai dost ki tumse humari judaai hogi
yeh afwaah zaroor kissi dushman ne uraayi hogi
shaan se rahenge tumahre dil mein hum
itne dino mein kuch to jagah banayi hogi

Vo likhte hain humara naam mitti mein
aur mita dete hain, Unke liye ye khel hoga
magar hume to vo mitti mein mila dete hain...

Teri aankain jhuki jhuki
tera chehra khila khila
jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

Munna bhai SMS

2007-12-22T06:15:00.000+14:00

Apun ek sher bolega,
Choro Taraf Chand fenkrela hai light,
Boleto ho gayeli hai night,
Band karne ka tube light,
Aur soneka tight,
Boleto, Bye Good Night..

-----------------------

Abhi bole to bhai ko tere SMS nahi aarele,
Bhai ka khopdi boht tight he,
Bol nikalu kya tera luky draw?
bole to do-char SMS chipka dal mamu.

Sender... Circuit Bhai!

-----------------------

Tera bhot memory aa rela tha,
Itna tem ho gela hai,
tere ko dekha bhi nai,
Akha life mei tere jesa 1 item mila apanko,
miss to karega

-----------------------
Taken from: http://sms4smile.com/category/munna-bhai-sms/

Evergreen Friendship SMS Messages Collection

2007-11-25T22:45:00.000+14:00

Longest LOVE is MOTHER's LOVE,
Shortest LOVE is other LOVE,
sweetest LOVE is LOVER's LOVE,
but strongest LOVE is FRIEND LOVE.

Never walk away from a true friend.
When u c some faults,
b patient & realize that nobody is perfect.
It's affection that matters,
not perfection.

Friendship is about writting
HURTS on the SAND
where wind blows it and forget,
CARVING the BENEFITS in the STONE and never 4get.

When it hurts to look back,
and you are scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and
your best friend will be there

Friends are like a page in a book of life,
Every page with a different subject.
But best friends r d index page
covering every subject.
Thx 4 being index page of my life.

Gate of memories will never close,
How much we miss our freinds nobody knows,
will pass like years,days
And we will remeber those memories like silent tears.

Do u know HOW FRIENDSHIP ENDS?
Both friends will think da other is busy & will not contact, thinking it may be disturbing
As time passes both will think let da other contact
After dat each will think Y shud I contact 1st
Here U'R Love will be converted to Hate
U 4get each other One fine day u will meet & blame 1 another
So keep in touch wid u'r friendz & pass dis 2 all u'r friendz.

Apology & sorry sms messages collection

2007-11-24T22:42:00.000+14:00

Sometimes our friends are angry and it's because of our own mistakes, and when we realize it we feel that we should say sorry, at this stage the problem of how to say sorry arises.
For that reason we have compiled a nice list of sorry sms, apology sms, sorry message, sorry quotes, and some decent poetry for saying sorry.
We hope you will love our collection, and give your feedback by voting each sms.

I am sorry to be smiling every time you're near.
I am sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you're here.
I am sorry that cupid has made his hit.
I am sorry i love you,
I can't help it.

SORRY SORRY SORRYSORRY
Dont get confused ,Aray Baba SORRY means:
S->Some,
O->One Is,
R->Really,
R->Remembering
Y->You..
Have A wonderful day.

Is kadar humari chahat ka imtihaan mat lijiye,
Kyu ho khafa ye bayan to kijiye,

Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gayi hai koi khata,
Yu yaad na kar ke saza to na dijiye.

Dosti main dooriyan to aati rehti hain
Phir bhi dosti dilo ko mila deti hai

Wo dosti hi kiya jo naraz na ho
Per sachi dosti dosto ko mana leti hai

Tum hasti ho mujhe hasane ke liye
Tum roti ho mujhe rulane ke liye

Tum ek bar rooth kar to dekho
Mar jaoun ga tumhein manane ke liye

Bhool se koi bhool hui to
bhool samajh kar bhool jana.

Are bhoolna sirf bhool ko,
bhool se bhi hame na bhulana.

Adult SMS Messages Collection

2007-11-24T20:30:00.001+14:00

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!

Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Acha wo kaise?
Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!

Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?

Boy:bilkul nahi!

Girl:to phir rehne do…

Most wanted Friendship SMS

2007-11-20T05:25:00.000+14:00

U make 10 friends,
Laugh wid 9,
Meet 8 of them,
Talk to 7,
Celebrate wid 6,
Share secrets with 5,
Trust 4,
Cry wid 3,
Take help of 2,
But never forget 1 like me:)

I'd Rather Have a Puppy

2007-11-16T00:45:00.000+14:00

A little boy and his father are walking down the street, and they see two dogs having sex.

The little boy asks his father, "Daddy, what are they doing?"

The father says, "Making a puppy." So they walk on and go home.

A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"

The father replies, "Making a baby."

The little boy says, "Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy."

Unfaithful Wives

2007-11-16T00:44:00.000+14:00

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Latest ASCII SMS Collection

2007-11-09T06:41:00.000+14:00

One day l went 2 ZOO. So many animals were there.
(>. .<)
"v"
Mouse

(@v@)
( "=" )
Owl

o(o¿o)o
(!)'(!)
Monkey

(@¿@)
"(<>)"
aaila ! Tum bhi

.-. .-.-. .-.
! " ! " !
"-..-"'-..-" MY
SWEET HONEY!

. ' 12 ' .
9 !/ 3
' . 6 . '

. ' 12 ' .
9 !_ 3
' . 6 . '

. ' 12 ' .
9 _! 3
' . 6 . '
still awake?
Time to sleep,
GOOD NITE
+
SLEEP TIGHT
+
SWEET DREAMZ!!!

( /
; )
( /
SO rahe ho KYA?

(@
; (
(@
GHOORO MAT

( I
; )
( ì
AANKHEIN KHOLO

( ì
; )
(é
DONO KHOLO

(é
; )
(é
CHALO sms karo

o,,,o /),/)
( ' ; ' ) ( ' ; ' )
(,,)(,,)(,,)(,,)
U'n me forever..
and ever and ever!

(").(")
( ' o ' )
(")(")
(""')-(""')
I Love You

You looked a lot like my wife

2007-11-03T08:16:00.001+14:00

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

Decent Cool Misleading SMSes

2007-11-02T18:57:00.000+14:00

It's the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the bathroom or anywhere!
It's called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

In
1 year,
12 months,
365 days & nights,
8760 hours,
52560 min,
3153600 sec,
sirf aap ko hi yaad kia.

Aur sirf 2 mins lagay
is jhoot ko type kernay mein :p;)

I always think about U.
I can't live without U.
I really need U.
I'm totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I'm crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.

Aisa mujhe bajuwali kehti hai
(My neighbour say all this to me)

Suno!
Aaj Aftari mein
samose bi thay
pakoray bi thay
sharbat bhi tha

kele bhi the
saib bhi the
angoor bhi the
Khujoor bhi thi

bas
aik tumhari kami thi

Kharboozay!

Hum ho gaye tumhare tumhe sochne k bad,
Ab na daikhen gay kisi ko tumhe daikhne k bad,

Dunya chor dain gai tumhai chorne k bad,
KHUDA! Maaf kare itne jhut bolne k bad

Woh raishmi balon wali,
Bhoori ankhon wali,
Komal hathon or naram pairon wali,
matakti hoi andhairay main,
tumharay paas ayegi
aur dheeray sai bolegi
.
.
.
"Maiyooon"

My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because I needed a monkey
for an advertisement.

Good Luck SMS MESSAGES

2007-11-02T18:50:00.000+14:00

With my
1 Heart
2 Eyes
5 Litre blood
206 Bones
1.2 Million red cells
60 Trillion D.N.A.'S
I wish u "all the very best of luck"
----------------------------------------------

Examation is garden, success is flower
God bless you with power to pluck this flower

-----------------------

Fly in the plane of ambition
And land in the airport of success
Luck is yours, wish is mine
May ur future always shine
Good luck

Wife SMS - Hindi SMS

2007-10-31T15:06:00.000+14:00

Wife: If I die what will u do?

Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Any boyfriend before marriage

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De.

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife
se Husband bola:
"Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai."

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli "Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti"

Husband aur wife in hotel

Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,"Koun Thi Wo?"
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

Wow! itni lambi celebration

Wife: Wo samay jo admi drink ker raha hai,
usko main nay 10 saal pehlay shadi k
liye inkaar kia tha.
Aaj tak sharab pee raha hay!

Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!

Difference between wife & saali

What is the difference between wife & saali?

Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duy,

Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,

Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,

Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,

Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi,

Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake:p

itni khushi bardasht nahin ker sakta

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?

What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so.

I Miss You | Missing u sms | Missing You sms Messages

2007-10-26T06:10:00.000+14:00

I Miss You | Missing u sms | Missing You sms Messages

Scratch & win
H____
HE___
HEA__
HEAR_
HEART. Congratulations U have won My Heart . Miss U baby

Whnever i miss u.. I wont luk 4 u in my dreams.. or try to hear ur voice in ur msgs.. I jst put my right hand across my chest and ill feel u..........MISS U

You are so away, yet so close, Our hearts are apart, yet they are one.Our memories are whole, they keep us together, our love is strong, it gives us strength. Imiss you and i love you with all my heart.

There is a pain in my heart
which was never there
Now that you are gone
I find the pain filling your absence

I know U R So-So-So -B-U-S-Y
But...Take... 3 Seconds to think of me
1... ...
2... ...
3..................
So Sweet. now continue ur work..(MISS U)

The Word 'Hello' means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear 4rm U. L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I miss you!

i miss u itna
u miss me jitna
i miss u tabse
u miss me jabse
i miss u tab tak
u miss me jab tak
u miss me na janay kab tak
but i miss u murtey dam tak

Last nite I wanted to rite u a letter but all I cud rite was... "noh ss!w !"It didnt made sense until u read it upside down

1 + 1= 2 eyes look at you
12 + 12= 24 HOURS THINKING of u...
3 + 4= 7 days in a week missing u..
1 + 11 = 12 months i always need
a sweet like you..

zindagi vich kadi te sanu yaad karengi, mehfil vich nahi tan tanhai vich faryaad karengi BAAJ varga na mileya na mile ga koi udon apni kismat te naaz karengi!

Some new Cute, Interesting and Funny SMS

2007-10-20T07:23:00.000+14:00

One song can spark a moment, One flower can wake the dream . One tree can start a forest. One sms can bring refreshment. So KEEEP smsing.

Alone i can only say but together we can shout, alone i can only smile but together we can laugh, alone i can only live but together we can celebrate.

Painting is a feeling never spoil it. FACE is a book try to read it. FRIENDSHIP is like a mirror don't break it.

DESTINY IS SIMPLY da strength of ur desires. If u cry at a trouble, it grows double, if u laught at it, it disappears like a bubble. Apply dis & u'll b happy/enjoy ur life.

The greatest GIFT u can give 2 sum 1 is ur Time becoz when u give sum1 ur time u R givin him a portion of ur Life. Ur beautiful thoughts alwz fills my mind.

Dur hai aap se to kuch gam nahi. Dur rahkar v Bhulne wale hum nahi. Roj mulakat na ho paye to kya hua, aapki yaad mulakat se kuch kam nahi...

Never say U r happy when u r sad. never say u r fine when u R not. Never say u feel good when u feel bad. Never say U r alone when I'm still alive.

U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will always be special to me!!

Jindagi behal hai, Sur hai na taal hai.,Msgbox kangal hai, kya aapki sms factory me hadtaal hai, Kuch SMS bhejo, mere mobile ki jindagi ka sawal HAI.

LOVE speaks in tender voice but is heard inspite of the noise. Love sees simple beauty and finds every1 worthy.

Dunya main sirf teen tarah kay log khush naseeb hotey hai (1) Woh jinhay sacha pyar milta hai (2) woh jinhay acha Yaar milta hai (3) woh jinhay mera sms bar baar milta hai Only 4 U.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Nevr frown, even when u r sad Bcoz u nevr know who is fallin in love with ur smile.

Dimaag k liye, orange ka juice, aankhe k liye, carrot k juice. Sehat k liye banana ka juice, khush rehene k liye sms kar kanjus.

If i give U a dozen of roses And u ask why there r no thrones, I would just smile, show my bleeding hand n say .. I took them away so that u won't get hurt.

Moon said to me, if ur fren is not messaging u why don't u leave ur fren. I looked at moon n said does ur sky ever leave u when U don't shine.

Ur eyes Patakha, UR LIPS rocket, ur ears chakra, ur smile Fuljadi, ur STYLE ANAR, ur personality bomb. Are nikal le, i'm coming with "CANDLE".

Give laugh to all but smile to 1 give cheeks to all but lips to 1 Gie love to all but heart 2 one, let everbdy lov u but U love 1.

Na hotel me na bar me, Na bike me na car me, ajki raat gujergay sirf tumare sms ki intajar me.

I send my care 2 to the wind n told the wind 2 pass them to U. So when u feel the wind blowin against ur face its me saying take care & Always be fit & happy.

If u feel a little dizzy and u r craving for something sweet all the time . U r suffering from a defficiency of VITAMIN :ME:.

Life brings "KABHI KHUSHI KABHI GUM" when it ends "NA TUM JANO NA HUM" So lets 'MASTI" together who knows "KAL HO NA HO".

The most popular Indian Shayari

2007-10-14T04:33:00.000+14:00

Faasle mita kar aapas me pyar rakhna,
dosti ka yeh rishta hamesha u hi barkarar rakhna,
bichad jaye kabhi aap se hum, Aakho me hamesha hamara intazar rakhna.

Fiza pe toh asar hawan ka hota hai,
mohabat pe asar adaaon ka hota hai,
koi aise hi kisi ka deewana nahi hota,
kuch kasur to nigaho ka hota hai....

din tere khayal mein guzar ta jata hai,
Raat ko hi tera hi khayal aata hai,
kabhi to yeh khayal itna badh jata hai ,
ki aaine mein bhi tera he chehra nazar ata hai.....

Aap samjte hain humne aapko bhula rakha hai,
aap nahi jaante ke dil mein chupa rakha hai,
koi dekh na le aap ko aakhon mein ,
is dar se palko ko jhuka rakha hai..

khayal ko kisi Aahat ki Aas rehti hai,
Nigah ko kisi surat ki pyaas rehti hai,
tere bin kisi cheez ki kami to nahi ,
magar tere bin tabiyat uddas rehti hai...

my 1 heart
2 eyes
7 litre blood
206 bones
5.5 million red cells
60 trillions DNA's
says's " I luv u"

yu to aapko roz yad kiya karte hai,
man himan dekh liya karte hai,
kya hua agar aap paas nahi,
hum dil hi dil me mulakaat kar liya karte hai...

Ponder These

2007-10-11T13:44:00.001+14:00

1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "oneslice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart than apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" When, it isn't all right .

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

Married Couple

2007-10-09T06:49:00.000+14:00

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well," said her mother, "so - how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook..."

Animal Crackers

2007-10-09T04:14:00.000+14:00

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries.

The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.

"What are you doing," his mother asked?

"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

Farmer's Garden

2007-10-08T06:24:00.000+14:00

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.

"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."

The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"

"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."

"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."

Parental Joking

2007-09-27T07:30:00.001+14:00

Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock."

She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a child!"

He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."

Red Lights

2007-09-15T13:04:00.001+14:00

There are these two guys driving a car. When the guy driving blows right through the red light.

"Man, you just ran that red light!", the passenger said.

"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver.

Well, they continue to drive when the guy went flying through another stop light.

"You ran ANOTHER stop light. You are going to get us killed!!!" exclaimed the passenger.

"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time, the driver said.

After a while they came to a green light when the guy stopped.

"Why are you stopping?"

The driver turned around and said, "Because my brother might be coming!"

Slow Sammy

2007-09-15T13:03:00.001+14:00

A young fellow by the name of Sammy liked to hang out at Mom and Pop's Grocery Store. Pop didn't know what Sammy's problem was, but the other boys would tease him all the time, calling him Slow Sammy, and punching him on the shoulder as they passed.

To mock him for being slow, they would offer him a dime and a nickel, telling him he could have just one. They said he always took the nickel because it was bigger.

One day after Sammy took the nickel, Pop pulled him to one side and said, "Son, don't you know they're making fun of you? They think you don't know that the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you really grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

"No," Sammy said, "but if I took the dime they'd quit doing it!"

Keeping Up

2007-09-13T18:53:00.001+14:00

This man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in there?"

The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."

"I got one too... see?"

"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."

Then the man in the Granada says, "You got a fax machine?"

"Why, actually, yes, I do."

"I do too! See? It's right here!"

"Uh-huh."

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Granada says, "So, do YOU have a double bed in back there?"

And the guy in the Rolls says, "No! Do you?"

"Yep, got my double bed right in back here - see?!"

The light turns and the man in the Granada takes off.

Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car.

About two weeks later, the job is finally done and he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Granada. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.

The windows on the Granada are all fogged up and he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Granada.

The man in the Granada finally opens the window a crack and peeks out.

The guy in the Rolls says, "Hey. Remember me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What's up?"

"Check this out - I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."

And the man in the Granada says, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"

Little Johnny & the Devil

2007-09-13T18:40:00.001+14:00

A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"

"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."

Excuses for Not Coming to Work

2007-09-06T19:41:00.001+14:00

- I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

- My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

- If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all my guns today.

- I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Kroger.

- I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

- The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

Corporate humour : Cold, cold winter

2007-08-28T07:47:00.001+14:00

It was autumn, and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets, so when he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. One week later he called the National Weather Service again.

"Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy."

When a girl ...

2007-08-24T05:48:00.000+14:00

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says I love you, She means it.

When a GIRL says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than that

humors from comedy central

2007-08-01T23:12:00.001+14:00

This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"
The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"
And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, "Well... everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS!'"

Anagrams

2007-08-01T12:32:00.000+14:00

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!

Originally from http://www.jokes.org.au/anagram/

Not just a humor

2007-07-30T16:26:00.000+14:00

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.

"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves."

The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"

So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

2007-07-04T10:59:00.000+14:00

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. Fat clothes.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

1. Other women!

Be My Valentine

2007-07-01T06:19:00.001+14:00

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

from: http://www.tinyfate.blogspot.com/

Two Cartons of Yogurt Walk Into a Bar

2007-07-01T06:19:00.000+14:00

Two Cartons of Yogurt Walk Into a Bar

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

Restricted One-liners

2007-06-27T03:56:00.000+14:00

Two prostitutes were talking:
We're in the best business in the world
Why's that then?
Well, we've got it, we sell it, and we've STILL got it

A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area & asked for her profession.
Prostitute: I'm a social engineer.
Policeman: What do u do?
Prostitute: I build & destroy erections

Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.

When a man of 60 marries a girl of 21, it's like buying a book for someone else to read.

Common Engineering Dialogues

2007-06-27T03:50:00.001+14:00